Snips and snails and puppy dog tails - and dill weed.

"So, we're unsure of what food to have at the baby shower...." 

This would be a phone conversation between my mom and I one morning on my way to work, 7:30 a.m. to be exact.  My little cousin (that's right.. LITTLE) is having a baby.  Not that shes ready for it, not that they can afford to make rent on their newly leased apartment, much less afford a gazillion dollars worth of formula - they are still having a kid.  Yea, I'm a little jealous.  I'm more together than they are, more settled, yet I'm scared shitless of having a baby.  Anyway, back to the conversation.  As we're chatting about who likes to eat what, what games to play, is the paternal grandmother too stuffy to participate in a apple juice baby bottle chugging contest - I'm struggling to concentrate on the important stuff.  For instance, must drive car, must remember where you work, did I unplug the flat iron, no I cannot turn around and go back to bed.  What can I say?  I'm not a morning person. 

I vaguely remember mumbling something about cucumber sandwiches and diapers.

"That would be really great, are you sure you know how to do it?  I bet it will be cute!  I'm sure most people would like cucumber sandwiches too.  Remember, they are going for brown and blue."

Uhm, what?  As I'm pulling into my office parking lot and ending the conversation I just realized I had volunteered to make cucumber sandwiches for this 'event.'  Have I ever even had a cucumber sandwich?  What the hell goes on it?  Is it bread?  A dip?  Wait a minute... what did she say about diapers?  Did I actually say I would make a diaper cake for this shindig?  Shit, I think I did. 

I consider myself to be slightly crafty.  I can string plastic beads on a foot long length of yarn and make that little 7 year old I have at home think I am the next Vera Wang.  Sure I can do this.  Google, google, google, diaper cake, how to, photos, ideas, baby, boy, blue, brown.  OK, I think I have an idea.  Now for the cucumber sandwiches.  Luckily I have some Betty Crocker loving friends on facebook who supplied me with a fairly simple and sworn delicious recipe for 'Fancy Cucumber Sandwiches.'  We shall see.  Luckily I have about 20 some days to figure out where to find Dill Weed and roll about 100 diapers in brown and blue ribbon.  Tonight I will start the cake, and by starting the cake I mean sitting at my kitchen table copying down Mother Goose nursery rhymes on scrapbook paper.  I will update on this cake process with pictures, as I think its definitely going to be a learning experience. 

Here are some fancy schmancy diaper cake pics I stole offline, please don't sue me for copyright whatever you call it, I'm just trying to give you an idea of what I'm aiming for.  As I'm sure my version will need some sort of definition.  ie: "Ohhh... so THAT'S what you were going for with the big clump of pampers..." 

Bears, and birds, and squirrells.. Oh My!

I'm going away.  Well, for a weekend at least.  Feeling all adult-like and all I reserved a weekend at a very small, very quiet, and very simple little cabin for 2 nights.  No phones, no cable, no wifi, and I'm pretty sure we will have to drive about 5 miles to get cell phone reception at this place. 


Have you ever watched the show "Everybody Loves Raymond?"  Yes?  OK, well picture this.  I'm Deborah.  My in-laws can literally look out their kitchen window and see if I am home or not.  They can see if I am washing my car, getting dirty in my flower beds, or even if they come close enough they can tell if I'm getting dirty in the bedroom, which thankfully, they do not and I do have blinds and curtains for those reasons.  Its not as bad as the show.  I actually love my in-laws, they do so much for us and I have never minded doing anything for them.  Occasionally, and not very often, I do feel a little threatened by the constant presence of others because with our house being within spitting distance of theirs, when they have company, we have company.  Family, friends, just people stopping by always feel as if they should visit us as well as them.  I don't mind all the time, really I don't.  But when I'm sitting bra less in an old tshirt on the sofa 7:30 on a Saturday morning sipping coffee and watching DVR'd Greys Anatomy Episodes, I do not want my brother-in-law pecking on my door looking for a measuring tape or vice grip. 

They have a grill, and a fully equipped kitchen.  So that means meat and cold beer.  Yes.  Another reason for getting away.  We like to relax in the evenings with a cold beer and yummy grilled snacks.  But its hard for us both to relax in the evenings if all we are thinking about are the lists and lists of things that need to get done that weekend, both for ourselves and our families, grocery lists, home improvement projects, anything and everything.  I'm pretty excited about loading up the old 4x4 with a couple coolers and just a handful of clothing, because, with a jacuzzi in the living room across from a beautiful stone fireplace, whose gonna need but so many clothes? 


So, at first I felt a little guilty about booking this weekend.  Taking us away from them.  What will they do?  Who will they talk to?  Who will they talk about?  But we need OUR time.  I NEED to sit bra less at 7:30am sipping coffee.  OK, without cable I may not be able to catch up on my Thursday night Greys episodes, but never the less, there will be better things to do.  I want to sleep in, wake up and smell the dewy forest morning air, hear the birds, and watch the squirrels scurry around, OK... I'm sounding like the brochure from this place, but they make a good point!  So, its not the Bahamas, but it'll do for now.  Simplicity and braless-ness here I come! (in about two weeks, that is). 

Butterfly Effect

So I have this family member that I haven't spoken to in ... well... about two years I suppose.  And I don't want to.  But I've been having dreams about this certain person.  We used to be very very close, as close as sisters.  But she did something to me that is unforgivable and well, I'm not going to forgive her.  Curiosity did spike in me awhile ago and one of my very close friends befriended her on facebook just so I could be a little nosy. 

Do you ever wonder that if you had just done the tiniest thing different once upon a time ago, would your life be changed?  If you had glanced to your left instead of right three years ago and saw the father of your child gazing at you lovingly instead of a drug dealing convict checking you out offering you the wrong kind of attention, would you have gone in the right direction?  I wonder about these small things all the time.  But I especially think about them when it comes to her.  As much as I do not want to talk to her or associate with her, I do truly hope that things come together for her.  Its not my place to pass judgement or criticize anyone at all, but anyone, and I do mean anyone can look at her and tell shes in trouble inside her mind.  She is making all the wrong choices and refusing to even acknowledge that there are other choices, other paths she can take. 

Maybe seeing her facebook profile spiked these dreams that I'm having.  They always starts off with us being just the way we were.  Either shopping, having lunch, just hanging out, laughing, loving our family bond, getting along great.. and then it changes to her doing something totally disrespectful to me.  Making me lose all trust and respect. 

I do not plan on making amends.  No, I don't, and I do not care how stubborn or ignorant that may make me seem.  But every now and then, I do say a silent little prayer for her when I wake up from these dreams.  I hope she finds what shes looking for only to realize that there are better ways.

Tsk tsk tsk...

70 degrees yesterday!  70!  And today?  Lower 40s, it was actually flurrying when I left my house this morning.  Disgusting. 

I have tons to do today.  Fake baking during lunch, probably the closest thing to actual sunshine that I will see this week.  Visit my parents after work, of course I forgot the pictures I had developed for them so I have to run home first and grab them.  I have to bite my tongue and push my jealousy deep deep down back inside while I admire her new car that will be delivered to her today.  I have clothing to sort through that has been sitting in my old room for over 2 years, the fact that I probably wont even be able to button half of the items isn't going to cheer me up much.  8 drawers of crap to clear out.  Not to mention a slam packed closet.  Who needs so many clothes?  I guess I thought I did at some point.  Sigh, Oh but it must be done I suppose, I've only been procrastinating for two years ya know. 

My ab-roller WILL be coming back home with me, faithful little purple miracle worker.  Yes, one day, I will be back in those non-fastening jeans and mini skirts with the help of my purple magic machine and salads.  Oh the never ending salads and cottage cheese.  You know your diet is succeeding when you don't even notice the taste of your meals anymore.  But it is what it is, and it IS my fault so I shall hop back on the no-gain-train again.

All aboard!

There then... back again, Months later.

Nothing major missed.  Just the regular 9+ hour work days, we did manage a quick escape to the bay a few weeks ago, which was absolutely wonderful by the way.  My mom is new car hunting, I decided to tag along last weekend to keep her company.  Awful awful awful decision on my part. 

This car is too big, this one is too small, this one has an ugly dash in it, I hate that color, I don't like red, the windshield is too small, I don't want green, this one looks like an Easter egg, that one looks like a bubble..... 

Needless to say, we didn't find one up to her standards.  Not...going...again.  Ever. 

We had beautiful weather this past Monday, if you didn't mind the 65 mph winds of course.  I couldn't help myself, seeing as it was also Valentines Day and the sun was shining and for a few brief seconds when the wind wasn't howling, it was actually close to 70 degrees outside.  I rushed to Wal*Hell and purchased a ginormous bag of charcoal, rib eyes, shrimp, and a mushy VDay card.  Arriving at home I was a little wary about lighting the grill since there seemed to be a wildfire on every back road and field in a 100 mile radius.  Before I could even scout out a wind safe place to move the grill I heard it being slammed across the back deck by the wind.  Scratch that... fire up the frying pan.  Heading outside to move the grill and arrange my glass patio table so that it wouldn't be shattered to itty bitty pieces in my yard I heard another crash.  What was it?  Oh... just my glass patio table shattering into itty bitty pieces in the yard.  Nice.  Thanks Mother Nature. 

It is supposed to be in the mid to upper 60's today with "breezes" according the the "weather man."  I have a pound of burger thawing on my kitchen counter at home.  I WILL try again, and this time Miss Nature... I will win, bitch.

Blog failure and Visiting Etiquette.

Wow.  So uhm, yea.  I suck at keeping up with.. well, anything.  Guess this is just going to have to be a sporatic, unorganized, kinda thing. 

Time "fell" back this weekend and I am still adjusting to the fact that I rolled out of bed at 4:30 this morning and was greeted by a grumpy man standing in front of the fridge.  Since my coffee pot hadn't automatically switched on yet and I was too tired and sleep blinded to find the "ON" button, I made the decision to go back to bed before I was charged with a domestic homocide of some sort.  Rule # 1, Dont catch an attitude with me before I've had coffee, even I dont know what I may do to you, and chances are I WONT remember doing it.

I am also still adjusting to having the weekend before that consumed by visiting inlaws.  When I say visiting, you have to understand, their 'visit' isnt the same as mine... or most peoples 'visit.'  For example, last time 'The Older Sister' decided to visit us she was in my backyard setting up a tent by the time I got home from work.  She had a 'crazy fun awesome' idea to 'camp out.'  Yea, sorry but just like my coffee goes, 5:30 on a Friday afternoon - I'm gonna need a beer or two before I can carry on a conversation with anyone residing in what looks like a gypsy camp set up in my back yard.  This time it was both sisters, a brother-in-law, a mother, and nine kids.  Count em! NINE!  I like kids, I dont have any of my own, except for Miss Priss my 7 year old  psuedo step daughter.  But nine kids are too much for me, way too much.  Then there was talk of "the tent."  I dont remember much of the weekend after that, other than a brief trip to the ABC store...

Well, here it is, my brand spanking new blog that I will never find the time to use regularly.  I'm not sure why I need a blog, sometimes I just want to share with complete strangers I suppose.  Hopefully I'll keep up with this one and not drop it and let it collect cyber dustbunnies and internet cobwebs like the last. 

Wish me luck....