And there I go again, wandering off into the real world and forgetting about my poor lonely little blog.
I've been lost basically. Stuck in a rut, dealing with the day to day issues - tunnel vision. Well besides lately. Lately I was an idiot. A true idiot, only I would utter these idiotic words, "Hey, why don't we throw a big surprise party for your dads birthday?".... IDIOT.
3 hellish weeks later there is a party, theres is also a hurricane. Damn you Irene, damn you. Actually Irene was a minimal stress factor to me, the major stress issues came from within.
Sister-in-law: "Where do you want to put these trays?"
Myself: "I was thinking it would be ok over there...."
Sister-in-law: "Oh well wouldnt it be better here?"
Myself: "Ok, sure."
Mother-in-law: "How do you want to line these tables up?"
Myself: "I thought vertical to each other so everyone can talk"
Mother-in-law: "But wouldnt it be better if..."
Myself: "Sure."
Sister-in-law #2: "Do you have lights? We can string them up, where should we do it"
Myself: "How about under the canopies and around the deck"
Sister-in-law #2: "I dont know about that, what about down near the bottoms..."
Myself: "Just figure it out your fucking selves... "
Nightmare.
Greasy hamburgers.... tough tomatoes.... browning lettuce...macaroni and cheese is getting cold.... I bet the cake is getting too warm.... I just know that no one will come to this thing because of the weather....
Its over and I couldnt be happier. We DID have people arrive, the macaroni survived as well as the cake, I never saw anyone even request tomatoes, and once I felt I had completed my chaotic running around to make sure everything was fine and everyone was happy, I got drunkity drunk drunk drunk. :)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
May 18
So I've been slacking (surprise surprise.) But here I am at 4:20pm sitting at my desk reading an old high school friends blog and I was reminded to update mine.
Things aren't so different lately. I've tried to take more time for myself and relax, not be such a spaz. I'm trying to save money in different little ways, trying to conserve my gas - cause the shit goes up like a gazillion .99999 tenths of a cents a day or something like that. I'm contemplating calling my old co-worker and checking on our credit scores and income situation, hopefully we'll be in the market for a house within the next 4 years or so (big step.. yea, scary!)
I'm terrified of my credit. I was very young and extremely dumb when my first credit card came in the mail. I still have that card to this day, barely used but pushed to the limit because of unbelievable rates that if I had any sense when I was 18 I would have turned down. I have a few more and I rarely use them. I try to pay them on time but every now and then it just happens. I forget a due date (even though they are marked in pen and highlighter on my calendar.) Or money runs tight that week and I believe the lights and groceries are more important than a pitiful little late fee, until I get the next bill showcasing that pitiful little late fee.
I think (I didn't look) that my last blog was about my upcoming vacation to the mountains. Well we went, it was wonderful, despite forgetting all of the food back home in the cooler in the fridge. We lived like teenagers on junk food, chips, dip, and margaritas. The jacuzzi was a play ground to us which we totally ignored the rules (ie. no bubbles, lotions, oils in tub.) Yea, eventually the bubbles were beginning to take over the living room. But it was bliss. Sleeping in, soaking in a tub with a margarita in hand, strolling around through the woods, catching a movie when you wanted to, eating when you wanted to, no schedules, no pressing chores to get done, no arguing about anything at all. Loved it.
Loved it so much, in fact, we're taking another trip. Tomorrow afternoon to be exact. After work we are loading up and heading out to the beach. I've been watching the weather the last few days with horror, but recently our bad run of rain storms seems to have broken and I am looking at a 79+ degree weekend of sand, salt, and fishing! We have never been fishing before and its something we always said we would do but never made time for it. So hopefully all will go well. I have directions in my purse, along with reservation information and I shit load of clothes to pack this evening when I get home from work. Oh... I cannot forget! Must...Shave...Legs.... they are ridiculous, its pretty sad how lazy I can get wearing pants all day at work.
Things aren't so different lately. I've tried to take more time for myself and relax, not be such a spaz. I'm trying to save money in different little ways, trying to conserve my gas - cause the shit goes up like a gazillion .99999 tenths of a cents a day or something like that. I'm contemplating calling my old co-worker and checking on our credit scores and income situation, hopefully we'll be in the market for a house within the next 4 years or so (big step.. yea, scary!)
I'm terrified of my credit. I was very young and extremely dumb when my first credit card came in the mail. I still have that card to this day, barely used but pushed to the limit because of unbelievable rates that if I had any sense when I was 18 I would have turned down. I have a few more and I rarely use them. I try to pay them on time but every now and then it just happens. I forget a due date (even though they are marked in pen and highlighter on my calendar.) Or money runs tight that week and I believe the lights and groceries are more important than a pitiful little late fee, until I get the next bill showcasing that pitiful little late fee.
I think (I didn't look) that my last blog was about my upcoming vacation to the mountains. Well we went, it was wonderful, despite forgetting all of the food back home in the cooler in the fridge. We lived like teenagers on junk food, chips, dip, and margaritas. The jacuzzi was a play ground to us which we totally ignored the rules (ie. no bubbles, lotions, oils in tub.) Yea, eventually the bubbles were beginning to take over the living room. But it was bliss. Sleeping in, soaking in a tub with a margarita in hand, strolling around through the woods, catching a movie when you wanted to, eating when you wanted to, no schedules, no pressing chores to get done, no arguing about anything at all. Loved it.
Loved it so much, in fact, we're taking another trip. Tomorrow afternoon to be exact. After work we are loading up and heading out to the beach. I've been watching the weather the last few days with horror, but recently our bad run of rain storms seems to have broken and I am looking at a 79+ degree weekend of sand, salt, and fishing! We have never been fishing before and its something we always said we would do but never made time for it. So hopefully all will go well. I have directions in my purse, along with reservation information and I shit load of clothes to pack this evening when I get home from work. Oh... I cannot forget! Must...Shave...Legs.... they are ridiculous, its pretty sad how lazy I can get wearing pants all day at work.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails - and dill weed.
"So, we're unsure of what food to have at the baby shower...."
This would be a phone conversation between my mom and I one morning on my way to work, 7:30 a.m. to be exact. My little cousin (that's right.. LITTLE) is having a baby. Not that shes ready for it, not that they can afford to make rent on their newly leased apartment, much less afford a gazillion dollars worth of formula - they are still having a kid. Yea, I'm a little jealous. I'm more together than they are, more settled, yet I'm scared shitless of having a baby. Anyway, back to the conversation. As we're chatting about who likes to eat what, what games to play, is the paternal grandmother too stuffy to participate in a apple juice baby bottle chugging contest - I'm struggling to concentrate on the important stuff. For instance, must drive car, must remember where you work, did I unplug the flat iron, no I cannot turn around and go back to bed. What can I say? I'm not a morning person.
I vaguely remember mumbling something about cucumber sandwiches and diapers.
"That would be really great, are you sure you know how to do it? I bet it will be cute! I'm sure most people would like cucumber sandwiches too. Remember, they are going for brown and blue."
Uhm, what? As I'm pulling into my office parking lot and ending the conversation I just realized I had volunteered to make cucumber sandwiches for this 'event.' Have I ever even had a cucumber sandwich? What the hell goes on it? Is it bread? A dip? Wait a minute... what did she say about diapers? Did I actually say I would make a diaper cake for this shindig? Shit, I think I did.
I consider myself to be slightly crafty. I can string plastic beads on a foot long length of yarn and make that little 7 year old I have at home think I am the next Vera Wang. Sure I can do this. Google, google, google, diaper cake, how to, photos, ideas, baby, boy, blue, brown. OK, I think I have an idea. Now for the cucumber sandwiches. Luckily I have some Betty Crocker loving friends on facebook who supplied me with a fairly simple and sworn delicious recipe for 'Fancy Cucumber Sandwiches.' We shall see. Luckily I have about 20 some days to figure out where to find Dill Weed and roll about 100 diapers in brown and blue ribbon. Tonight I will start the cake, and by starting the cake I mean sitting at my kitchen table copying down Mother Goose nursery rhymes on scrapbook paper. I will update on this cake process with pictures, as I think its definitely going to be a learning experience.
Here are some fancy schmancy diaper cake pics I stole offline, please don't sue me for copyright whatever you call it, I'm just trying to give you an idea of what I'm aiming for. As I'm sure my version will need some sort of definition. ie: "Ohhh... so THAT'S what you were going for with the big clump of pampers..."
This would be a phone conversation between my mom and I one morning on my way to work, 7:30 a.m. to be exact. My little cousin (that's right.. LITTLE) is having a baby. Not that shes ready for it, not that they can afford to make rent on their newly leased apartment, much less afford a gazillion dollars worth of formula - they are still having a kid. Yea, I'm a little jealous. I'm more together than they are, more settled, yet I'm scared shitless of having a baby. Anyway, back to the conversation. As we're chatting about who likes to eat what, what games to play, is the paternal grandmother too stuffy to participate in a apple juice baby bottle chugging contest - I'm struggling to concentrate on the important stuff. For instance, must drive car, must remember where you work, did I unplug the flat iron, no I cannot turn around and go back to bed. What can I say? I'm not a morning person.
I vaguely remember mumbling something about cucumber sandwiches and diapers.
"That would be really great, are you sure you know how to do it? I bet it will be cute! I'm sure most people would like cucumber sandwiches too. Remember, they are going for brown and blue."
Uhm, what? As I'm pulling into my office parking lot and ending the conversation I just realized I had volunteered to make cucumber sandwiches for this 'event.' Have I ever even had a cucumber sandwich? What the hell goes on it? Is it bread? A dip? Wait a minute... what did she say about diapers? Did I actually say I would make a diaper cake for this shindig? Shit, I think I did.
I consider myself to be slightly crafty. I can string plastic beads on a foot long length of yarn and make that little 7 year old I have at home think I am the next Vera Wang. Sure I can do this. Google, google, google, diaper cake, how to, photos, ideas, baby, boy, blue, brown. OK, I think I have an idea. Now for the cucumber sandwiches. Luckily I have some Betty Crocker loving friends on facebook who supplied me with a fairly simple and sworn delicious recipe for 'Fancy Cucumber Sandwiches.' We shall see. Luckily I have about 20 some days to figure out where to find Dill Weed and roll about 100 diapers in brown and blue ribbon. Tonight I will start the cake, and by starting the cake I mean sitting at my kitchen table copying down Mother Goose nursery rhymes on scrapbook paper. I will update on this cake process with pictures, as I think its definitely going to be a learning experience.
Here are some fancy schmancy diaper cake pics I stole offline, please don't sue me for copyright whatever you call it, I'm just trying to give you an idea of what I'm aiming for. As I'm sure my version will need some sort of definition. ie: "Ohhh... so THAT'S what you were going for with the big clump of pampers..."
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Bears, and birds, and squirrells.. Oh My!
I'm going away. Well, for a weekend at least. Feeling all adult-like and all I reserved a weekend at a very small, very quiet, and very simple little cabin for 2 nights. No phones, no cable, no wifi, and I'm pretty sure we will have to drive about 5 miles to get cell phone reception at this place.
Have you ever watched the show "Everybody Loves Raymond?" Yes? OK, well picture this. I'm Deborah. My in-laws can literally look out their kitchen window and see if I am home or not. They can see if I am washing my car, getting dirty in my flower beds, or even if they come close enough they can tell if I'm getting dirty in the bedroom, which thankfully, they do not and I do have blinds and curtains for those reasons. Its not as bad as the show. I actually love my in-laws, they do so much for us and I have never minded doing anything for them. Occasionally, and not very often, I do feel a little threatened by the constant presence of others because with our house being within spitting distance of theirs, when they have company, we have company. Family, friends, just people stopping by always feel as if they should visit us as well as them. I don't mind all the time, really I don't. But when I'm sitting bra less in an old tshirt on the sofa 7:30 on a Saturday morning sipping coffee and watching DVR'd Greys Anatomy Episodes, I do not want my brother-in-law pecking on my door looking for a measuring tape or vice grip.
They have a grill, and a fully equipped kitchen. So that means meat and cold beer. Yes. Another reason for getting away. We like to relax in the evenings with a cold beer and yummy grilled snacks. But its hard for us both to relax in the evenings if all we are thinking about are the lists and lists of things that need to get done that weekend, both for ourselves and our families, grocery lists, home improvement projects, anything and everything. I'm pretty excited about loading up the old 4x4 with a couple coolers and just a handful of clothing, because, with a jacuzzi in the living room across from a beautiful stone fireplace, whose gonna need but so many clothes?
So, at first I felt a little guilty about booking this weekend. Taking us away from them. What will they do? Who will they talk to? Who will they talk about? But we need OUR time. I NEED to sit bra less at 7:30am sipping coffee. OK, without cable I may not be able to catch up on my Thursday night Greys episodes, but never the less, there will be better things to do. I want to sleep in, wake up and smell the dewy forest morning air, hear the birds, and watch the squirrels scurry around, OK... I'm sounding like the brochure from this place, but they make a good point! So, its not the Bahamas, but it'll do for now. Simplicity and braless-ness here I come! (in about two weeks, that is).
Have you ever watched the show "Everybody Loves Raymond?" Yes? OK, well picture this. I'm Deborah. My in-laws can literally look out their kitchen window and see if I am home or not. They can see if I am washing my car, getting dirty in my flower beds, or even if they come close enough they can tell if I'm getting dirty in the bedroom, which thankfully, they do not and I do have blinds and curtains for those reasons. Its not as bad as the show. I actually love my in-laws, they do so much for us and I have never minded doing anything for them. Occasionally, and not very often, I do feel a little threatened by the constant presence of others because with our house being within spitting distance of theirs, when they have company, we have company. Family, friends, just people stopping by always feel as if they should visit us as well as them. I don't mind all the time, really I don't. But when I'm sitting bra less in an old tshirt on the sofa 7:30 on a Saturday morning sipping coffee and watching DVR'd Greys Anatomy Episodes, I do not want my brother-in-law pecking on my door looking for a measuring tape or vice grip.
They have a grill, and a fully equipped kitchen. So that means meat and cold beer. Yes. Another reason for getting away. We like to relax in the evenings with a cold beer and yummy grilled snacks. But its hard for us both to relax in the evenings if all we are thinking about are the lists and lists of things that need to get done that weekend, both for ourselves and our families, grocery lists, home improvement projects, anything and everything. I'm pretty excited about loading up the old 4x4 with a couple coolers and just a handful of clothing, because, with a jacuzzi in the living room across from a beautiful stone fireplace, whose gonna need but so many clothes?
So, at first I felt a little guilty about booking this weekend. Taking us away from them. What will they do? Who will they talk to? Who will they talk about? But we need OUR time. I NEED to sit bra less at 7:30am sipping coffee. OK, without cable I may not be able to catch up on my Thursday night Greys episodes, but never the less, there will be better things to do. I want to sleep in, wake up and smell the dewy forest morning air, hear the birds, and watch the squirrels scurry around, OK... I'm sounding like the brochure from this place, but they make a good point! So, its not the Bahamas, but it'll do for now. Simplicity and braless-ness here I come! (in about two weeks, that is).
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Butterfly Effect
So I have this family member that I haven't spoken to in ... well... about two years I suppose. And I don't want to. But I've been having dreams about this certain person. We used to be very very close, as close as sisters. But she did something to me that is unforgivable and well, I'm not going to forgive her. Curiosity did spike in me awhile ago and one of my very close friends befriended her on facebook just so I could be a little nosy.
Do you ever wonder that if you had just done the tiniest thing different once upon a time ago, would your life be changed? If you had glanced to your left instead of right three years ago and saw the father of your child gazing at you lovingly instead of a drug dealing convict checking you out offering you the wrong kind of attention, would you have gone in the right direction? I wonder about these small things all the time. But I especially think about them when it comes to her. As much as I do not want to talk to her or associate with her, I do truly hope that things come together for her. Its not my place to pass judgement or criticize anyone at all, but anyone, and I do mean anyone can look at her and tell shes in trouble inside her mind. She is making all the wrong choices and refusing to even acknowledge that there are other choices, other paths she can take.
Maybe seeing her facebook profile spiked these dreams that I'm having. They always starts off with us being just the way we were. Either shopping, having lunch, just hanging out, laughing, loving our family bond, getting along great.. and then it changes to her doing something totally disrespectful to me. Making me lose all trust and respect.
I do not plan on making amends. No, I don't, and I do not care how stubborn or ignorant that may make me seem. But every now and then, I do say a silent little prayer for her when I wake up from these dreams. I hope she finds what shes looking for only to realize that there are better ways.
Do you ever wonder that if you had just done the tiniest thing different once upon a time ago, would your life be changed? If you had glanced to your left instead of right three years ago and saw the father of your child gazing at you lovingly instead of a drug dealing convict checking you out offering you the wrong kind of attention, would you have gone in the right direction? I wonder about these small things all the time. But I especially think about them when it comes to her. As much as I do not want to talk to her or associate with her, I do truly hope that things come together for her. Its not my place to pass judgement or criticize anyone at all, but anyone, and I do mean anyone can look at her and tell shes in trouble inside her mind. She is making all the wrong choices and refusing to even acknowledge that there are other choices, other paths she can take.
Maybe seeing her facebook profile spiked these dreams that I'm having. They always starts off with us being just the way we were. Either shopping, having lunch, just hanging out, laughing, loving our family bond, getting along great.. and then it changes to her doing something totally disrespectful to me. Making me lose all trust and respect.
I do not plan on making amends. No, I don't, and I do not care how stubborn or ignorant that may make me seem. But every now and then, I do say a silent little prayer for her when I wake up from these dreams. I hope she finds what shes looking for only to realize that there are better ways.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tsk tsk tsk...
70 degrees yesterday! 70! And today? Lower 40s, it was actually flurrying when I left my house this morning. Disgusting.
I have tons to do today. Fake baking during lunch, probably the closest thing to actual sunshine that I will see this week. Visit my parents after work, of course I forgot the pictures I had developed for them so I have to run home first and grab them. I have to bite my tongue and push my jealousy deep deep down back inside while I admire her new car that will be delivered to her today. I have clothing to sort through that has been sitting in my old room for over 2 years, the fact that I probably wont even be able to button half of the items isn't going to cheer me up much. 8 drawers of crap to clear out. Not to mention a slam packed closet. Who needs so many clothes? I guess I thought I did at some point. Sigh, Oh but it must be done I suppose, I've only been procrastinating for two years ya know.
My ab-roller WILL be coming back home with me, faithful little purple miracle worker. Yes, one day, I will be back in those non-fastening jeans and mini skirts with the help of my purple magic machine and salads. Oh the never ending salads and cottage cheese. You know your diet is succeeding when you don't even notice the taste of your meals anymore. But it is what it is, and it IS my fault so I shall hop back on the no-gain-train again.
All aboard!
I have tons to do today. Fake baking during lunch, probably the closest thing to actual sunshine that I will see this week. Visit my parents after work, of course I forgot the pictures I had developed for them so I have to run home first and grab them. I have to bite my tongue and push my jealousy deep deep down back inside while I admire her new car that will be delivered to her today. I have clothing to sort through that has been sitting in my old room for over 2 years, the fact that I probably wont even be able to button half of the items isn't going to cheer me up much. 8 drawers of crap to clear out. Not to mention a slam packed closet. Who needs so many clothes? I guess I thought I did at some point. Sigh, Oh but it must be done I suppose, I've only been procrastinating for two years ya know.
My ab-roller WILL be coming back home with me, faithful little purple miracle worker. Yes, one day, I will be back in those non-fastening jeans and mini skirts with the help of my purple magic machine and salads. Oh the never ending salads and cottage cheese. You know your diet is succeeding when you don't even notice the taste of your meals anymore. But it is what it is, and it IS my fault so I shall hop back on the no-gain-train again.
All aboard!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
There then... back again, Months later.
Nothing major missed. Just the regular 9+ hour work days, we did manage a quick escape to the bay a few weeks ago, which was absolutely wonderful by the way. My mom is new car hunting, I decided to tag along last weekend to keep her company. Awful awful awful decision on my part.
This car is too big, this one is too small, this one has an ugly dash in it, I hate that color, I don't like red, the windshield is too small, I don't want green, this one looks like an Easter egg, that one looks like a bubble.....
Needless to say, we didn't find one up to her standards. Not...going...again. Ever.
We had beautiful weather this past Monday, if you didn't mind the 65 mph winds of course. I couldn't help myself, seeing as it was also Valentines Day and the sun was shining and for a few brief seconds when the wind wasn't howling, it was actually close to 70 degrees outside. I rushed to Wal*Hell and purchased a ginormous bag of charcoal, rib eyes, shrimp, and a mushy VDay card. Arriving at home I was a little wary about lighting the grill since there seemed to be a wildfire on every back road and field in a 100 mile radius. Before I could even scout out a wind safe place to move the grill I heard it being slammed across the back deck by the wind. Scratch that... fire up the frying pan. Heading outside to move the grill and arrange my glass patio table so that it wouldn't be shattered to itty bitty pieces in my yard I heard another crash. What was it? Oh... just my glass patio table shattering into itty bitty pieces in the yard. Nice. Thanks Mother Nature.
It is supposed to be in the mid to upper 60's today with "breezes" according the the "weather man." I have a pound of burger thawing on my kitchen counter at home. I WILL try again, and this time Miss Nature... I will win, bitch.
This car is too big, this one is too small, this one has an ugly dash in it, I hate that color, I don't like red, the windshield is too small, I don't want green, this one looks like an Easter egg, that one looks like a bubble.....
Needless to say, we didn't find one up to her standards. Not...going...again. Ever.
We had beautiful weather this past Monday, if you didn't mind the 65 mph winds of course. I couldn't help myself, seeing as it was also Valentines Day and the sun was shining and for a few brief seconds when the wind wasn't howling, it was actually close to 70 degrees outside. I rushed to Wal*Hell and purchased a ginormous bag of charcoal, rib eyes, shrimp, and a mushy VDay card. Arriving at home I was a little wary about lighting the grill since there seemed to be a wildfire on every back road and field in a 100 mile radius. Before I could even scout out a wind safe place to move the grill I heard it being slammed across the back deck by the wind. Scratch that... fire up the frying pan. Heading outside to move the grill and arrange my glass patio table so that it wouldn't be shattered to itty bitty pieces in my yard I heard another crash. What was it? Oh... just my glass patio table shattering into itty bitty pieces in the yard. Nice. Thanks Mother Nature.
It is supposed to be in the mid to upper 60's today with "breezes" according the the "weather man." I have a pound of burger thawing on my kitchen counter at home. I WILL try again, and this time Miss Nature... I will win, bitch.
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